Commandment Five - Honor thy Father and Mother

Exodus 20:12

We have come a long way, but as we approach the topic tonight, we will see that we have yet a long way to go. We have studied the object of worship - the primacy of God - "no other Gods." We have seen the manner of worship - the person of God Himself - "no other image or likeness" - God wants you to see Himself only. The clearer visions you have of him the greater your love of Him. Then we saw the attitude of worship - our reverence for God - "take not the name of God in vain." This deals with our inner passion for God and the fear and reverence that we have for Him. Then last time, we saw the time for worship - the time for God - "Remember the Sabbath - the Lord's Day as it came to be." Is this day the Lord's or do you take it for yourself? In our prologue to this whole study, we learned that the focus of the commandments started with God reminding Israel of their liberation from the tyranny of sin (Egypt) and then how to stay liberated; free from sin and the thorns and trappings of the horrible results of sin.

Deut. 6:24 And the Lord commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the Lord our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as it is at this day.

Israel's well-being was connected with listening to and obeying God's commandments. So it is natural then there be a great importance to the instruction in God's commandments. Israel retained her freedom in the Promised Land when her sons and daughters obeyed the instruction of their parent-teachers. Take a step back with me and see the big picture:

One generation knowing and loving God and dispersing that knowledge to the next. We see the vertical being the primary importance and then the next and most obvious step was the horizontal. However, the second was a natural outflow of the first, and you cannot do the second without the first yet, the first is not sufficient without the second.

CS Lewis wrote: "When I have learned to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased."

He understood the premise upon which the logic flows from the Commandments of God. The first four when obeyed, establish and verify our deep love for God so we can love God with all our heart, soul, and strength. It is within this dynamic of vertical love for God that sets the table for the love for others in a greater capacity. So it follows that the deeper our love for God, the greater our capacity to love others.

Mark 12:29-31 And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: 30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. 31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Hudson Taylor when questioned if why he had given his life to the Orient because he loved the Chinese, he responded, "No, not because I loved the Chinese, but because I loved God." He had the right idea in the right order - this is the same order that you see in the Commandments - 1-4 God; 5-10 Others! St. Augustine in his treatise on 1John 4:4-12 said, "Love (God), and do what thou wilt" In other words if one truly loved God, he would do the right thing in the rest of the areas in his life. Before we can rightly address the next six commandments, we must stop and evaluate our love for God. Do we fear Him, and esteem Him and Him alone? Are there other gods in our lives? Have we in fact erected other idols and do we set aside time for God unselfishly? Because as we approach the vast amount of truth in the next six commandments, everything hinges upon our love for God being firmly intact.

We come now to the first and primary human relationship that God addresses--the relationship of child with father and mother. The first question I want to ask is, "Is this verse only about parent/child relationships or must we take it further?" In regard to the importance of human relationships, life is made up of authorities.

Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.

The word "ordained" means commissioned - this is God's design - authority - they are all given by God. When we learn to honor authority, we are displaying our honor to God. We see in Scripture the use of the term "Father" is given to several figures:

Political Fathers - Job said he was "a father to the poor." (Job 29:16) Meaning that he played an authoritative, overseer, and political role in his community. The Scripture calls 'Kings' fathers (Isaiah 49:23). Then there is even the "Grave Ancient Father" in Scripture who is venerable for old age. Leviticus 19:32 Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the Lord.

Then there are also

Spiritual Fathers - Paul says in 1 Cor. 4:15 For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel.

Master Fathers - This is the master in a servant/master relationship. Naaman's servants called their master father. (2Kings 5:13) The centurion calls his servant, son in the Greek. (Matt 8:6) The servant is to honor his master, as the father of the family.

Natural Father - or the Father of the flesh.

Hebrews 12:9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

Why does God then single out this relationship as the most important place to start? Good question, let's explore several important reasons:

1. The home is the primary place where children are to learn how to submit, respect, and get along with people.

I find that no one wants to talk about the home any more - we talk of government, state and local. We talk of role models, careers and jobs, schools, and universities, but we don't want to talk about the role of parents in this. I also find that people do not want to explore how they are raising their children - people get very defensive all too quick. Proverbs 4:13 Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life.

Why don't we apply this verse to the rearing of our children? Why are we so defensive about this, especially seeing the importance that God places on the home for the environment from which they are to learn these basic skills for life? This was the first summer in our church that we did not hold child-training classes--and the thing that disturbs me is that no one even asked for it. Notice several observations from Scripture:

A. Parents are the primary teachers of the commandments of God!

Deut. 6:6-7 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

B. Fatherhood is all about instruction!

The relationship between instructor/pupil is very often characterized in terms of relationship between father and son.

Proverbs 1:10 My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.

C. Genuine family relationships is characterized by listening to God's Word!

Luke 11:27-28 And it came to pass, as he spake these things, a certain woman of the company lifted up her voice, and said unto him, Blessed is the womb that bare thee, and the paps which thou hast sucked. 28 But he said, Yea rather, blessed are they that hear the word of God, and keep it.

Jesus also said it another way in

Matthew 12:46-50 Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? 49 And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! 50 For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.

Two key factors given here: Listening and Obedience. We are reminded of the role in this age of the parents teaching God's Word - they had no other formal way of getting the Word of God into the lives - very little written copies of documents of God's Word - no computers, no Internet and no E-mail - The duty of passing the knowledge of God from one generation to the next assigned directly to the parent. We could put it this way: In Israel parenthood functioned properly when parents preserved God's Word in their own hearts and handed it on to their children.

D. The goal wasn't just a transmission of knowledge, but the transmission of a life with God.

It included a nurturing, instruction, admonishing, but also a choice of occupation and direction in choosing a life partner. This living encompasses a relationship with God.

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Amos 5:6 Seek the Lord, and ye shall live;

Psalm 63:3 Because thy loving kindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.

2. Every would be leader - world, business, or home- who is ever in authority began as a child. No one skips that process.

Good leadership requires submission, obedience, and servants heart. Luke 2:51 And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.

Let me say reverently and with great humility, God Himself submitted to human parents. There is always an authority structure and having a good understanding and demonstration of that understanding is key to getting along with others.

3. The Home is the proving ground for proper relationships.

1 Samuel 3:13 For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.

Eli's sons were vile and God judged Eli and the house of Eli because he did not restrain them in the house. Thus, because of the lack of restraint and discipline in the home, they were out of control in their public relationships. You can pretty well count on the reality that to the degree that there is honor and respect at home, there will be the same in public or less! If a child cannot demonstrate listening and obedience in the home, the words of teachers, pastors, civic leaders, police, and respect for the elderly will not be demonstrated. Many parents will not make their children demonstrate this, because they haven't learned it either. There is a generation gap and we are spreading it. Honor and obedience to authority is profoundly counter cultural to us today. Obedience is uniquely tied to self control. Our shapers of society today are determined to lower the age of autonomy for the young so they do away with things that would teach self control, thus doing away with learning obedience--thus undermining honoring of father and mother.